Some Freak telling you knock, knock jokes.
Justlook into a mirror and you'll have the #1
halloween costume of all time!
Who Died the Worst Death?
Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven.
However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven
will only admit
33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the
worst death? So, St. Peter takes each
of the three men aside in
turn and asks them about how they died.
First man: "I'd been suspecting for a long time that
my wife was
cheating on me. I decided to come home early from work one
afternoon and check to see if I could catch her
in the act. When
I got back to my apartment, I heard the water running. My wife
was in the shower. I looked everywhere
for the guy, but couldn't
find anyone or any trace that he had been there. The last place
I looked was out on the balcony.
found the bastard hanging from the edge, trying to get back
in! So I started jumping up and down on his hands, and he
but he didn't fall. So I ran inside and got a hammer,
and crushed his fingers with it until he fell twenty-five floors
in agony. But the fall didn't kill the asshole. He
landed in some bushes! So I dragged the refirgerator from the
(it weighed about a ton), pulled it to the balcony, and
hurled it over the edge. It landed right on the guy and killed
But then I felt so horrible about what I had done, I went
back into the bedroom and shot myself."
St. Peter nodded slowly
as the man recounted the story. Then,
telling the first man to wait, he took the second aside.
Second man: "I lived
on the twenty-seventh floor of this
apartment building. I had just purchased this book on morning
exercises and was
practicing them on my balcony, enjoying the
sunshine, when I lost my balance and fell off the edge. Luckily,
fell about two floors before grabbing another balcony and
holding on for dear life. I was trying to pull myself up when
guy came running onto what must have been his balcony and
started jumping up and down on my hands. I screamed in pain,
he seemed really irate. When he finally stopped, I tried to pull
myself up again, but he came out with a hammer
and smashed my
fingers to a pulp! I fell, and I thought I was dead, but I
landed in some bushes. I couldn't believe
my second stroke of
luck, but it didn't last. The last thing I saw was this enormous
refrigerator falling from the building
down on top of me and
St. Peter comforted the man, who seemed to have several broken
bones. Then he told him to wait, and turned to the
Third man: "Picture this. You're hiding, naked, in a
I got this From Billy's Site.